A sign of growth


And suddenly

I can’t breathe any longer

Big sobs

Come out of my mouth

While the pressure on my lungs

Increases

And I try

To stay calm

While my mind repeats

This thought “I’m alone in this.”

Tears and snot

Mix

While I watch myself

Being bent over

On the kitchen counter

Clinging to the overhead cupboard

To not slide down

Onto the cold floor

Again.

I can see

My ego

Trying to protect me

From this next step

In my ascension

The new place I’m going

Scaring the shit out Of the part that wants To simply keep me safe The expansion too quick

Too much

So self-doubt

And the feeling of separation

Are turned way up Penetrating my mind

And heart. He steps behind me Placing one hand on my chest

The other on my back

“Breathe” He says

I try

But the inhale only goes into the chest

And repeats itself

Without an exhale The more I try to relax

The more intense the feeling

Of dying gets.

A couple of minutes later

The experience is over

I’m exhausted in his arms A safe place for me

And he strokes my hair

“Something BIG is coming.

This is the first in years, What a wonderful sign.”

I smile weakly Sending a silent prayer

To the Divine

For delivering a man to my side

Who sees the beauty and light When I feel ugly and weak Who steps forward to connect When others run for the hills Who’s brave and gentle and strong And reminds me

That this isn’t the end

More a sign of growth

A new chapter

Just around the corner.

#poems #love #unconditionallove #conscious #consciousrelationship #equal #man #divinemasculine #anxiety #panic #growth #expansion

© 2016-2020 Annika Suoma Frey
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