I was born 6 times


I was born six times In this lifetime What a strange thought To cross my mind But it’s true I was born six times In this lifetime For the first time I was born On the day When my tiny body Made it’s way Out of my mother’s womb To enter the world in physical form A confused little baby Learning Soaking up the strange rules Of this world The second time I was born Almost 20 years old Struggling to understand How I ended up In this position A burden to everyone Outsourced by overwhelmed parents Unwanted Too much So I tried To take my own life And almost succeeded Already seeing the light Then receiving the message That I’m not done With this life There are children To be born And raised And a message to be shared So I pulled back Into my body Consciously Born again The third time I was born The day I birthed My own child The centre of my world Shifted By looking at The little squished face Of my firstborn His tiny body In my hands That made me forget Everything around me And inside of me I felt something new Awakening The mother rising Ready to protect Her baby with her life Never wanting to leave His side Control over How I spend my time My top priorities Freedom and Choice Born again The fourth time I was born Was the birth Of my second child During which I travelled Beyond the stars Connected to all women Everywhere No separation existed Time and space Mere concepts And I got to know myself As a warrior woman Determined and Loving Magical and Powerful And oh so strong When I reached down To catch my baby Forever changed While lying in the water With his skin on mine His eyes wide awake Looking at me Seeing me All of me Remembering Born again The fifth time I was born Was the day My daughter taught me To surrender even deeper To trust and rest To dance while I’m working To drop all expectation And that to be able To have this human experience I need to be Fully expressed In my body

Only then She made her way out Into this world

Without me Doing more Than breathing And opening

Through her birth She reminded me That I only know That I know nothing That it’s time to remove “I know this already” And apply

Fresh eyes Born again The sixth time I was born Was the day My marriage ended After several days Of intense work Uncovering patterns Unhealthy ways of Relating to each other I made clear That only through a fresh start A clean slate A new beginning I could see us

Still together Without holding on Without taking past things With us

Including our rings That night I died On the couch Dissolved in tears Seeing my beloved Holding on to the idea That he still knows me While just getting to know Himself And the next day When we threw the rings

That had us bound to the past From the dragon bridge Into the roaring river I stood there Whole within myself Next to him A complete person Without me And I smiled Independent Born again

#poems #rebirth #transition #change

© 2016-2020 Annika Suoma Frey
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